((Mainly doing this for my own self uplifting))
1. My husband
2. Laughing
3. Having the true Gospel in my life
4. My sisters
5. My brother
6. My parents
7. Thinking of fun memories from my childhood
8. My puppy Jex
9. Babies
10. Sunny days
11. My comfy bed
12. Listening to music
13. Singing
14. Traveling
15. Hanging out with friends
16. Watching funny movies
17. Sleeping in
18. How I feel about myself after working out
19. Disneyland
20. Shopping for new clothes
21. The beach
22. Summertime
23. Fall time
24. The temple
25. Hot chocolate
26. Cookie dough
27. Being married in the temple
28. Painting
29. Decorating/Decorations
30. Learning new things
31. Singing
32. Chinese food
33. Sweatpants
34. Ice skating
35. Laying out in the sun
36. Being productive
37. Playing with Jex
38. Laughing with Wes
39. Watching movies with Wes
40. Working out with Wes
41. Road trips with Wes and Jex
42. Bubble smoothies
43. Pho
44. Reading
45. Watching new T.V. shows
46. Instagram
47. Having clean laundry
48. Coming home to a clean apartment after a long day
49. The comfort of Heavenly Father and Christ
50. Going to church
51. New tennis shoes
52. Cheerleading
53. Getting stronger
54. Chips and salsa
55. Fajitas
56. Cookie dough ice cream
57. GOOD friends
58. Having a warm apartment
59. Having a nice phone
60. Having a car that works properly
61. My nieces and nephews
62. Playing card games
63. Playing board games
64. The scriptures
65.Writing down how I feel
66. My testimony that Jesus is the Christ
67. The feeling that I am never completely alone, even when I feel super low, Christ knows exactly how I feel
68. Wesley's smile
69. Wesley's laugh
70. Going out to eat
71. BAKING
72. Eating what I bake
73. Cheesecake
74. Having a nice laptop
75. Technology
76. Swimming
77. Hiking
78. Warm coats
79. Leggings and big sweaters
80. Getting good grades on tests
81. Netflix
82. Pictures of Christ
83. Dancing
84. Looking at my wedding pictures
85. Polka dots
86. Christmas
87. Thanksgiving
88. Halloween costumes
89. Delicious smelling candles
90. UGG boots
91. Nail polish
92. Learning more about the Gospel
93. Feeling the Spirit
94. Feeling loved
95. Flowers
96. Walking
97. Smiling
98. Mint blue
99. Yoga
100. Relaxing
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Open Eyes
I've got some things on my mind I just need to write down...Yes, I know that's what a journal is for. But I decided to write these things on here instead just incase someone out there needs to know he/she is not alone.
When did life get hard? I have always thought things that are out of our control happen because Heavenly Father wants them to happen that way. To make us stronger perhaps. To give experiences that can help others. My believing that doesn't take away from the aching of my heart completely...but it gives hope.
I went from not knowing I was pregnant, learning I was pregnant, feeling so scared and worried, feeling extreme happiness and excitement (but still scared), to losing the baby all in a matter of 5 days. 5 days!!!! I never thought I could feel so many clear emotions in such a short amount of time. I will admit, the pregnancy was a complete surprise...but somehow that doesn't help make the emptiness any better. Emotional rollacoaster at its finest. Going through something like this is hard even if it was a surprise and early on. I started picking out names, planning things in my mind, and even made a secret board on Pinterest with some seriously cute pins.
Now, my eyes are open. My life is in Heavenly Father's control. I know that this experience has made Wes and I stronger...even though it's still hard, I have faith in His plan for my family and me. I have become a little more spiritually in tune, I have thought more about my priorities in life, and ultimately I know now without a doubt that I want to be a mommy. Before it all seemed so far fetched that I could have enough love for a child to put up with the whole crying in the middle of the night thing, not being able to freely do things when I wanted, things like that. I want to nurture, protect, create, guide, love, cuddle, sing bedtime songs, and feel that connection. All i can think about is having that baby.
I have hope. I have faith. Life is a beautiful thing full of ups and downs, smiles and tears. This is just one of those hard things that Wes and I needed to go through..the reasoning I'm not 100% sure of, but I know it gets better. In life, I have so many things to be grateful for, innumerable things. My husband, my family, the Gospel, being sealed to my husband forever, the school that I go to, my puppy, my health, my warm apartment...so many things!! Life is about learning, growing, and becoming the best you can be.
When did life get hard? I have always thought things that are out of our control happen because Heavenly Father wants them to happen that way. To make us stronger perhaps. To give experiences that can help others. My believing that doesn't take away from the aching of my heart completely...but it gives hope.
I went from not knowing I was pregnant, learning I was pregnant, feeling so scared and worried, feeling extreme happiness and excitement (but still scared), to losing the baby all in a matter of 5 days. 5 days!!!! I never thought I could feel so many clear emotions in such a short amount of time. I will admit, the pregnancy was a complete surprise...but somehow that doesn't help make the emptiness any better. Emotional rollacoaster at its finest. Going through something like this is hard even if it was a surprise and early on. I started picking out names, planning things in my mind, and even made a secret board on Pinterest with some seriously cute pins.
Now, my eyes are open. My life is in Heavenly Father's control. I know that this experience has made Wes and I stronger...even though it's still hard, I have faith in His plan for my family and me. I have become a little more spiritually in tune, I have thought more about my priorities in life, and ultimately I know now without a doubt that I want to be a mommy. Before it all seemed so far fetched that I could have enough love for a child to put up with the whole crying in the middle of the night thing, not being able to freely do things when I wanted, things like that. I want to nurture, protect, create, guide, love, cuddle, sing bedtime songs, and feel that connection. All i can think about is having that baby.
I have hope. I have faith. Life is a beautiful thing full of ups and downs, smiles and tears. This is just one of those hard things that Wes and I needed to go through..the reasoning I'm not 100% sure of, but I know it gets better. In life, I have so many things to be grateful for, innumerable things. My husband, my family, the Gospel, being sealed to my husband forever, the school that I go to, my puppy, my health, my warm apartment...so many things!! Life is about learning, growing, and becoming the best you can be.
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